Ad Astral Podcast, Episode 30:

The Dinner Guest-Shownotes

Submitted by DJ Burnham on Sunday 11th March 2018

(The Dinner Guest was written in 2004 on the Greek island of Patmos. It first appeared in Issue 180 of Bewildering Stories in 2006.)

To listen to a CD maybe 10, 30, a hundred times or more is considered perfectly normal. To watch a favourite movie 4, 5, 6 times even, not that unusual. To read a book three times...possibly regarded as eccentric to say the least. Why should that be? Well, perhaps it is a question of time. A CD lasts about 50 minutes, a film two hours maybe, what about a book though? Now, that is a commitment! Surfice to say, I can count the number of times I have read a book three times or more on the fingers of one hand, and still have a digit or two to spare. Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain is one of those I have returned to several times. It is a masterpiece, Gastrorock, if you will and it was a strong motivator leading me to write the story for this episode. The term Gastronaut was frequently used by the spendidly uncompromising TV chef Keith Floyd, so in part this story is also by way of a tribute to him. Raznah Gastron gets confused over the meaning of Bone Meal and that is a little aside for my fellow gardners and allotment holders.

The artwork shows a variety of alien knives and a plethora of Earth ingredients.


Our Guest Voice Actors:



Sussex singer-songwriter, guitarist Adrian Truman has been involved in making music since the early '80s. Adrian enjoyed stints as guitarist or singer and occasionally mandolinist in a number of diverse South Coast bands (including The Forgotten, Flash Company and Desolation Angels) as well as performing as an occasional solo act during the '80s. He then moved to performing as a solo act and sometime collaborator with a number of musicians during the '90s. Adrian was a stalwart of Worthing's Rising Sons acoustic music nights, and his song Love and Revolution was covered on the debut release from Brighton-based band Strip Naked. Along with countless performances in pubs, clubs, bars and at numerous festivals including Glastonbury, Adrian also built a strong reputation as a solo support act, performing that role on occasion for The Fold, Sheep, The Dayglo Pirates and both Nick and Roy Harper. After a long hiatus, Adrian has recently been contributing guitar parts to an ongoing recording project for Sussex-based producers The Hydrophonics Workshop and Berlin-based singer-songwriter Ruby Jean Rose.

Check out music by Adrian on SOUNDCLOUD HERE.




Jules Lawrence has been a member of numerous blues, jump-jive and rock bands along the South Coast for several years. A player of the tenor and baritone sax & blues harmonica, he is also one of the very few people who's ever bothered to work out how to get a tune out of a musical saw.
As a member of country blues outfit, The Swamp Things, he has shared stages with Jools Holland's Rhythm and Blues Orchestra, Paul Jones' Blues Band, RL Burnside and Alabama 3 as well as touring Europe on several occasions. As a member of The Dime Store Jive Revue, he also spent time playing in New Orleans as part of a Burlesque festival. He has also worked on producing live soundtracks for silent movies, performance art pieces & is currently a member of Jump Jive/ Rock & Roll Big Band- Fat 45 and Simmone And The Dark Stars


Check out Jules' Myspace site HERE.



Sue Burnham: Dave's wife and best friend.







Sound Effects

Many come from The Freesound Project.

Other effects:

Various from Apple’s Garageband library.

Other effects tailor-made by Ad Astral.


Scene 1
Intro music = video game sound.wav by djgriffin of
Raznah’s travelling kitchen boiling = Boiling Liquid 1 by Yoyodaman234 of And
Bubbling / Beeping Low fi with rumble by CuddleNucks of

Scene 2
Star ship rumble from Apple Mac Garageband

Scene 3

Busy Station rumble from Apple Mac Garageband

Scene 4
Background music = Tentacle Wedding by Romariogrande of

Scene 5
Background music = Mystery of the Dark Forest.mp3 by ipodpierwsza AKA Amadeusz Bartos of

Scene 6
Park ambience = Backyard Birds-002.WAV by skyko of
Park, dog barking = dog barking 4 (the cutest brown dog ever).aif by Tomlija of
Tim jogging = jogging.wav by kagiso@16 of

Scene 7
Walking = Footsteps, Concrete, A.wav by InspectorJ of
Cooking sounds = cooking_02.wav by aesqe of
Chopping food = Chopping Celery.wav by Abolla of
Alien knife pick up = Knife slides.wav by scriptique of
Alien knife sound = 01 Whoosh,Metal,Alien.wav by Framing_Noise of
Wine opening and pouring = Wine.wav by BeeProductive of
Glasses clinking = Cups-Medium-3.wav by Seidhepriest of
Drink = Drinking Sip Swallow Gasp 2.wav by Stevious42 of
Slides to floor = by Ad Astral
Raznah Drink = BottleDrinking02.wav by Abolla of
Chair pushed back = Sliding Wooden Chair.mp3 by bmusic92 of

Scene 8
Garageband sounds

Scene 9
Alien knife pick up = Knife slides.wav by scriptique of
Alien knife sound = 01 Whoosh,Metal,Alien.wav by Framing_Noise of
Blood letting = Ad Astral sound
Blending oatmeal and blood = stirring pasta_batch1_bip.wav by muses212 of
Sectioning the body = cortando_carne.wav by Eirikr of
Cleaver = Axe Impact 3 by LiamG_SFX of
Calvarium hitting floor = Large piece of wood being dropped 04 by Jagadamba of
Powdering bone etc = LCS_2014 » Blender by mario81 of
Jam jars = Ad Astral sound
Cold storage units and acces codes = garageband
Incineration = Fire Burning Loop by midimagician of
Raznah snoring = Monster Breathing.wav by DCSFX of

Scene 10
Background music = Scary Ambient Music (Chamber Of Bodies) by TheBoseDeity of

Scene 11
Garageband sounds

Raznah eating Tim Pool = Wet Meat.mp3 by RICHERlandTV of

Scene 15
Ship landing = garageband
Arrivals = Llegadas.wav by Soojay of
Door = garageband
Collapsing on bed = Ad Astral
Ent-unit news jingle = Countdown News Intro.wav by chimerical of
Background music to media piece on Raznah =
Track Name: "Solemn (Orchestral Loop).wav"
Composer: Marcus Dellicompagni

Scene 16
Raznah in state music = garageband
Tik’s background music = Abandoned Fields by Dredile of

Scene 17
Restaurant kitchen sounds = restaurant kitchen.wav by cognito perceptu of
Raznah eating = Wet Meat.mp3 by RICHERlandTV of
Raznah retching = Creature-Beast-Retch.wav by SkinnySoundGuy
Roaring flames from hellish burners etc = fireMX4.aif by irad of
Raznah’s screams = 160046 Simeon Fourie -SD100_4 SoundFX » Scream ny shaderrow of

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